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Louis Carter (@louislcarter)
Thank you @brucerosenstein and @ShanthaRMohan for sharing this. Frances remains often on my mind for the profound influence she had on my work at Most Loved Workplace (@LovedWorkplace), and for the opportunity you both gave me to publish my research. With deep gratitude, Lou.
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Frances Hesselbein once looked at me and said something that still stays with me to this day:
“Lou, watch your thoughts. They become words. Watch your words. They become deeds. Watch your deeds. They become habits. Watch your habits. They become character. Character is everything.”
She didn’t say it to be profound. She said it because she lived it.
I was lucky to have known Frances and even luckier that she took an interest in my work, and supported my development. She gave me her time, her insight, and her belief in what we were building. She was the first to publish my research through Leader to Leader—and more importantly, she was the kind of leader who showed up with clarity and purpose, every day.
Frances passed away in 2022, but I still hear her words often. I carry them with me in the work I do with Most Loved Workplace®—and in how I try to lead in my own life.
This article is for her.
Leadership That Lasts Is Built on Character
There’s a difference between being liked and being trusted. There’s a difference between leading with charm and leading with conviction. Frances understood that.
In the corporate world, we’ve gotten good at optics. Polished language. Culture decks. Brand statements. But here’s the truth:
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Character isn’t what you say. It’s what you do when it’s hard.
Real leadership shows up in how you respond to failure, how you treat people when they’re at their worst, and how consistent you are when no one’s watching.
The best workplaces I’ve studied and certified through Most Loved Workplace® all have one thing in common: They’re led by people who know who they are—and act on it every day with integrity.
Six Principles That Still Guide Me—Thanks to Frances
These aren’t buzzwords. These are battle-tested. They’re backed by research, and more importantly, they’re backed by experience.
1. Feel Everything—Then Keep Going
Leadership isn’t about shutting down emotion. It’s about being present with it—and not letting it run the show. That includes fear, frustration, and discomfort. You can’t fake your way through it. People feel it.
Research from the Journal of Applied Psychology shows that leaders who suppress emotions are seen as less authentic and lose trust.
(Gardner et al., 2013)
✅ Acknowledge fear, frustration, and setbacks—then act with clarity.
❌ Don’t pretend everything’s fine when it’s not. That’s not strength. That’s avoidance.
2. Tell the Truth, Always
Frances never sugarcoated. Neither should we. The teams that grow are the ones that hear what’s true—not just what feels good.
Psychological safety—one of the top predictors of performance—starts with honest, respectful truth-telling.
(Amy Edmondson, Harvard Business School, 1999)
✅ Say what needs to be said, clearly and kindly.
❌ Don’t wait for things to get worse before speaking up.
3. Follow Through or Say Nothing
Empty promises are worse than silence. Your actions build (or breakdown) trust more than any town hall or email campaign ever could.
When leaders back their words with action, trust increases dramatically. When they don’t, connection and performance drops fast.
(Journal of Applied Psychology, Dirks & Ferrin, 2002)
✅ If you say you’ll do something, do it—or explain why it changed.
❌ Don’t overcommit to look good in the moment.
4. Build Habits That Match Your Values
Culture isn’t created in one workshop. It’s built day-to-day. Rituals. Practices. Feedback. Promotions. Recognition. Who you reward and what you tolerate speaks louder than any mission statement.
✅ Audit your habits regularly—what are you really reinforcing?
❌ Don’t say “people first” if toxic behavior keeps winning.
5. Own Your Mistakes Publicly
Leaders who act like they’re infallible don’t build loyalty—they build fear. When you own a mistake, you don’t lose credibility. You gain it.
Vulnerability from leaders increases trust and performance.
(Brown, Dare to Lead, 2018)
✅ Say “I got that wrong.” Then fix it.
❌ Don’t deflect, spin, or push blame down the ladder.
6. Lead with Love, Not Approval
Love in leadership doesn’t mean comfort. It means commitment. It means telling the truth, showing up, holding people accountable, and building something bigger than yourself.
Research from CCL shows leaders who demonstrate care and integrity drive up to 40% higher retention and innovation.
✅ Do what’s right—even if it costs you popularity.
❌ Don’t trade your values for applause.
In Honor of Frances
This piece isn’t just a list. It’s a thank you.
Frances Hesselbein believed in character over charisma. Service over self-promotion. Purpose over performance.
She showed me that great leadership starts inside—and only then can it create something lasting outside.
I miss her voice. I’m grateful for her words. And I’m still working to live up to them.
